Heart Matters
As the plane touches ground in Lyon, I’m so glad to come home! Home? I’ve never been to Lyon! But I feel at home wherever our van is and more importantly, where Frank is. Home is where the heart is…
Frank is happy to see me too, having driven 350km on his own from the South of France in the sweltering heat (temperatures reached 45 degrees at midday). We drive on for another half hour to find a beautiful spot for the night, by the side of the Rhone. A quick and refreshing dip in fast flowing water while watching a kingfisher dart past and the sun going down…
The next day, we drive all the way to Lac Leman (lake Geneva), parking up in a little campsite on the French side of the lake. Amazing how fast we travel northwards – it took us 10 months to get to Marseille and then we zoom back up in a few days. We are on our way to Crans-Montana in Switzerland to visit my brother who is spending a few weeks in a rehabilitation centre there, following an extensive operation on his spine, removing a cancer.
Some time in the mid-afternoon, we arrive. The last 15 km are a steep ascent from the Rhone valley, offering stunning vistas at every serpentine turn of the road.
The Swiss have got something right about healing people. The rehabilitation centre is more like a hotel than a hospital, with spacious rooms facing the valley and the snow-covered peaks beyond. Stepping out on the balcony, you can sit in the sun in a deck chair and breathe the crisp mountain air. For the less mobile, an elevator takes you to the top floor from where a little corridor leads outside to the mountainside above, where a path leads around a fish pond. For the more able-bodied amongst the inhabitants, hiking paths start right from the centre into woodlands and up the mountains. One week into his stay here, my brother Karlo has made great progress in his recovery, so we take the stairs instead of the elevator when we go up the five floors to feed the carp.
A day in the life of the rehabilitation centre includes about 4 hours of programme individually designed and agreed upon with the client, to include physiotherapy and specific training to build up muscle, but also things like Tai Chi, Accupuncture, meditation, therapy, massage etc.
Karlo’s son Anselm is there too and we spend the afternoon all together, sitting on the balcony, chatting, laughing and joking, and walking around viewing the rehab centre and watching the carp snap up the bread which Karlo scrumped from the canteen.
Karlo invites us for dinner. They are equipped to deal with visitors – it’s really like eating in a good quality restaurant, including that we get table service!
Connections between us have never really been untroubled, and in the last 15 years they have been downright awful. I won’t go into why that is, it’s not important. What is important is that something fundamental seems to have shifted to allow us to meet in the ‘Now’, to enjoy each other’s presence without the dark shadows that have been around for so long. There is a lightness, joy and clarity between us as never before. What a precious gift. It really confirms to me that any ill feelings harboured for too long are a great waste of time and energy.
That evening, Frank and I leave Crans-Montana with our hearts brimming.
For photos of this chapter, go to flikr
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Too often we learn so very late in life what matters most. Perhaps that is why life becomes also more treasured and precious the more insight we gain. Letting go is part of that learning, be it ill feelings or saying adieu or letting our children find their path. All not so very different. Let the positive memories linger.
Today I dropped by an old couple I have known for years. It came as a shock to hear his prostate cancer has returned and the doctors can’t treat him. He is tired of life now and this might well have been the last time I have seen him and exchanged assurances of our fondness. His wife has been doing a superb job of caring for him with his dementia. She needs all the support I can offer probably more than he does.
And there is Rose’s daughter Lily who broke her knee badly and is still attending her graduation. What supreme courage and will power to rise against the odds.
My heart goes out to all my friends and theirs loved ones in those moments . Thank you for all your thoughtful posts these last months, Ruth and Frank.
Much love, Vera