I remember playing with figures in my head at the tender pre-school age of 5, working out that it’ll be July 11th 2016 when I’m 50. It seemed soooo far ahead in the future and to be 50 seemed absolutely ancient! Having got there, I don’t feel ancient of course, but what do I feel?

In the last 10 years, I have lost the two generations above me in my family and with the death of my older brother three weeks ago, I am now the family elder – a strong reminder that time is indeed passing on. On the other end of life, a new generation started with yesterday’s birth of Aaron Finn Quentin, making me Great Aunt!

I feel extremely blessed to have experienced half a century of peace in Europe and to have been able to travel and live abroad with such ease. I found a home in Totnes, raised two fantastic children there and connected in a deep way with the place and with my chosen family in the communal house I’ve lived in for the last 20 years.

Dance has been a great gift in my life, not only keeping me fit and healthy but presenting me with the best job I could have wished for, combining my vocation of teaching with my love for music.

In the last years I’ve found Frank, the love of my life, or more precisely, life found us and allowed us to delve into love. Our journey together at home and abroad brings many new experiences inside and out.

In the last months, I had the first signs of menopause and with it a great sense of positive change, an opening of a door to an inner journey into wisdom. I feel absolutely no sadness at entering the second half of a century, at getting older. I’m proud of the first fifty years and curious about the next stage. Life seems to deepen and widen all the time, and every day is a new adventure.

I feel poised.

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